A new way to choose love

Maybe it’s not the other people. Maybe it’s my pattern.

Finding a different person isn’t enough if you keep repeating the same pattern.

Watch the free Masterclass Explore the Romantic Relationship Pattern Theory →

For single professionals over 40

Sound familiar?

Different people. Unsuccessful outcomes.

You can run a business, raise children, and solve complicated problems for a living. And still wonder why dating keeps delivering the same disappointing experience.

Ignoring warning signs because the chemistry is strong
Choosing someone who looks perfect on paper but lacks real intimacy
Pursuing people who won’t fully choose you
Carrying too much of the relationship
Waiting on someone’s potential
Staying in ambiguity, hoping it turns into something

Not every pattern looks the same, and no one has all of these.

After two divorces and years of dating, I realized I wasn’t just choosing the wrong people. I was repeating the same relationship patterns and expecting a different outcome.

I stopped focusing so much on finding the right person and started looking at myself, my patterns, my choices, what I was tolerating, and what I needed to change. That’s when my dating choices started making sense.

That’s why I created R.E.S.E.T. to Romance…to help people recognize the patterns they keep repeating, understand what may be driving those patterns, and reset the way they approach relationships before making their next big emotional investment.

Dee Collins, MSN, FNP-C, nurse practitioner and founder of The Dating Analyst™

Read Dee’s story

You thought this time would be different.
So why does the ending feel so familiar?

After two divorces and years of dating, I found myself asking a question I could no longer ignore.

Join me for my free Masterclass:

Why Do I Choose Who I Choose?

Watch the free Masterclass

A meta-synthesis framework

Romantic Relationship Pattern Theory™

A practical way to understand why the same relationship experience keeps showing up, and where it can be interrupted.

Developed by Dee Collins, MSN, FNP-C. Book forthcoming...

Six maps, one destination.

For years, Dee kept looking for the missing piece. Every book taught something valuable. Every theory explained part of the story. But no single explanation seemed to cover why we keep landing in the same relationship patterns.

Then came a realization: what if these weren’t competing theories at all? What if they were describing different parts of the same human process?

Across thousands of conversations in clinical practice, different ages, careers, and stories, she kept seeing the same emotional sequence. Different people. The same pattern.

Six areas of established research, viewed together.

Romantic Relationship Pattern Theory didn’t come from a single scientific theory. It’s a meta-synthesis: several evidence-informed disciplines, read side by side with years of clinical observation.

Attachment Theory

BOWLBY & AINSWORTH

Where many relationship expectations begin.

Cognitive Theory

AARON BECK

How our thinking influences emotions and behavior.

Schema Therapy

JEFFREY YOUNG

How deeply held beliefs influence our relationship choices.

Coping & Stress Theory

LAZARUS & FOLKMAN

Why we develop protective ways of handling emotional distress.

Emotion Regulation

JAMES GROSS

How emotional habits become automatic over time.

Social Cognitive Theory

ALBERT BANDURA

How behavior is learned, reinforced, and repeated.

These researchers’ work informs the framework. It does not mean they developed, tested, or endorsed Romantic Relationship Pattern Theory.

Illustration titled The Invisible Layers: a person stands on the small visible tip of an iceberg at sunset, while a much larger glowing iceberg extends beneath the water. Text reads: There’s more beneath your dating choices than you can see. What’s beneath the surface?

Beneath every choice sit the stories we tell ourselves, the feelings that seem familiar, past experiences, beliefs about love, and long-standing habits.

Those layers quietly steer who we notice, pursue, tolerate, and keep investing in. Once you can see them, you can start making different choices on purpose.

The faces may change. The experience can feel familiar.

This circle represents six connected stages that can shape how a relationship unfolds—from the moments that stir something in you to the choices and reactions that follow.

When the sequence goes unnoticed, you may find yourself back in an experience you hoped to leave behind.

Where does your pattern begin—and where could you interrupt it?

Explore those questions in the free Masterclass, Why Do I Choose Who I Choose?

Watch the free Masterclass

What had always felt like fate was actually a pattern.

Awareness is where it starts, not where it ends. You may recognize a familiar relationship experience and still wonder how to choose differently when it matters.

So what comes after recognizing the pattern?

Join Dee for the free Masterclass, Why Do I Choose Who I Choose?, to explore what may be repeating—and where a different choice could begin.

Watch the free Masterclass

What this framework is, and isn’t

A proprietary, evidence-informed meta-synthesis framework integrating six established, research-supported areas: attachment theory, cognitive theory, schema therapy, coping and stress theory, emotion regulation, and social cognitive theory.

Informed by research, clinical observations, and lived experience, including Dee’s own relationship journey and thousands of conversations with others.
Developed by Dee Collins, MSN, FNP-C, to explore recurring romantic relationship patterns.
Romantic Relationship Pattern Theory™ has not itself been clinically validated.

The program

R.E.S.E.T. to Romance

The pathway from recognizing your pattern to joining Secure Hearts Aligned. Break the Pattern. Date Differently.

Watch the free Masterclass

R.E.S.E.T. to Romance. It begins with the free masterclass. Your next steps: Reveal, Rehearse, Romance. The 30-Day Secure Heart Certification includes Reveal, which identifies the hidden pattern influencing your relationship choices, and Rehearse, which is practicing secure decisions with Amore AI. The graduation finale is Secure Heart Certified, required for every experience. Step 3, Romance, is The Exclusive Introduction Dating Network, with exclusive introductions for Secure Heart Certified singles. Coming soon. Optional next step.

Free Masterclass training

Start here

The place where the pattern becomes visible.

You’ll explore the Dating App Hamster Wheel, why different people can leave you with familiar feelings, how chemistry differs from compatibility, and the difference between awareness and real change. Dee shares her own story along the way.

You’ll leave with a new question: I think there’s a pattern here. What’s mine?

Watch the free Masterclass

30-Day Secure Heart Certification

Awareness is just the beginning. Emotional Elevation is where change becomes possible.

This is the flagship experience: education, application, and practice over 30 days. You reveal your pattern, rehearse new decisions, and complete the required curriculum. Then comes a final educational assessment of your understanding and application of Secure Heart principles. You have up to three attempts.

A Secure Heart doesn’t mean you’re perfect at relationships. It means you’re clear, calm, and confident when you move into one.

Amore AI

Your Dating Analyst companion

A dating simulator included in the certification. Most relationship education teaches you what to do. Amore gives you a place to practice what you’ll do when dating gets real, in realistic dating situations over 21 days.

Secure Heart Certified

An earned credential

Members who complete the required relationship education and self-development curriculum and pass the final assessment earn the badge. It’s what makes you eligible for Aligned.

Romance: Secure Hearts Aligned Dating

Coming soon

The Exclusive Introduction Network for Secure Heart Certified Singles.

Aligned is for singles who have earned certification. It isn’t another unrestricted swipe app, and it’s opening ONLY to certified members when it launches.

To be eligible, you start where everyone starts: the free masterclass.

Watch the free Masterclass

What certification does and doesn’t mean.

Secure Heart Certified Single indicates that a member has completed The Dating Analyst’s required relationship education, self-development curriculum and passed the exam before becoming eligible for the Aligned Dating network.

Certification is not:

A psychological assessment or clinical designation
A background check
A claim that someone is emotionally perfect or has “healed”
A guarantee of safety, behavior, or compatibility

Honest boundaries are part of the brand. We focus on what you can influence: your awareness, discernment, choices, communication, boundaries, and decisions.

A letter from Dee: I kept choosing a different person—and ending up in the same relationship.

Portrait of Dee Collins in glasses and a black top, beside the words: A letter from Dee. I kept choosing a different person, and ending up in the same relationship.

Hi, I’m Dee, The Dating Analyst™.

I spent 16 years across two failed marriages—and many more years dating—choosing the same story over and over again.

Until I finally realized: I was the common denominator.

Now I help single professionals over 40 understand the emotional patterns that influence who they choose, so they can get clear, date differently, and choose love that aligns with their values.

Your next chapter starts with a different question:

Why Do I Choose Who I Choose?

DEE COLLINS, MSN, FNP-C

Three great dates. Then came the fourth.

He seemed perfect on paper. There was chemistry. He said he was dating intentionally for marriage.

On our fourth date, I politely declined a sleepover. Then we stopped talking.

Nine days later, I learned something about him that I never saw coming.

What happened next—and what I came to understand about my own dating choices—is part of the story I share in my free masterclass.

Why Do I Choose Who I Choose?

Watch the free Masterclass

Where the perspective comes from.

Years of clinical practice as a nurse practitioner, with thousands of conversations with adults
Building a successful Medspa from one rented room into a thriving practice, after moving to Atlanta knowing few people
Lived experience with divorce, infidelity, growing apart, and more than a decade of modern dating
Extensive independent study of relationships, communication, emotional regulation, and human behavior
Development of Romantic Relationship Pattern Theory and The Secure Heart frameworks inside the R.E.S.E.T. to Romance Pathway

Dee’s background shapes how she listens and what she asks. The Dating Analyst™ is relationship education, not therapy or clinical treatment, and personal experience isn’t a promise of any particular outcome.

The larger movement

Building secure hearts. Bringing hearts into alignment.

One act of love at a time.

Kindness. Compassion. Integrity. Positivity.

Small, intentional acts that make a difference.

Share your acts of love using #MillionHeartsAligned

Watch the free Masterclass